Confessions of a First Time Homeowner
Honestly, I didn’t set out to buy a house during a pandemic, but you know what they say about plans, God laughs at them. Back in May, I felt a push, his voice, moving me in the homebuying direction. I obeyed but the realist in me was like “nah, the market is too hot”.
I even remember chatting with a friend’s husband who’s a realtor about what it’s like to buy right now and saying that. Two weeks from that conversation, I was under contract for the first and only house I saw. Many of my thoughts about money and how I should go about buying went out the window when it actually happened to me. I want to share a few of the lessons and reflections from my few months of being a homeowner.
Before I start I’m pretty sure someone is curious how did I know that the house would be a great fit for me. My thinking process was how does this house fit into the life I want to have, rather than focusing on the house itself. Family is super important to me so the top of the list was location. I personally hate driving and I also worried about my parents being older and having vision problems. I didn’t want it to ever feel like a hassle for us to visit each other. For a grandma like me behind the wheel it takes about 15 minutes. Just as important, the second priority was cost. I was approved for almost 100K more than what I ended buying. As always, don’t focus so much on what the lender approves you for but rather look at your own numbers to figure out what you feel comfortable with. While, I was walking through the house the first time, I went room by room imagining how my mother and I would have a blast making this house a home. Months later, I’m glad to say I was right.
So here’s a few of my mishaps, lessons and take-aways from my first six months.
My Savings Weren’t Nearly Enough - Prior to buying I had a lot of illusions of how buying a home should go but in reality, it was like “Listen, how are we finna get this house?”. I initially planned on taking out for my 401K but actually didn’t which looking back I’m happy about. This also isn’t to say that I didn’t have savings, I did but house emergencies are different than the type you have living at home with parents. My 8th day in the house my oven died, the first month, my 10 year old car needed major repairs, and in the second month, I had to deal with a rainstorm in my basement. Looking back, I’m glad that I didn’t know what I know now because I probably would have let fear talk me out of the house and I’m honestly not sure if people are every going to be ready for the next step in their lives, they just make the decision to take and face it. My biggest takeaway from this is that I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Being a homeowner is a learning process, not something you can master in a day. Also, I’m so glad, I stuck to something in my budget. I was initially drawn to new builds that are a lot more expensive. I can’t imagine having to deal with a crazy expensive mortgage while dealing with all those financial blows.
Check that “I Deserve” Mindset - I remember a while ago, I wrote about how I want to have money for furniture so when I but the house it won’t be empty. Now, I just laugh at that. Six months later, the house is still mostly empty and you know what? Life has went on and I’m okay. The living room is the most put together, it looks fine enough for the background of Zoom meetings. Everywhere else is either completely empty or a piece that I took from my Parents’ house (such a blessing to do that, I know). I think it’s so easy to get caught up with wanting things, constantly seeing them either on YouTube or ads on Instagram, and waking up everyday to an empty house. It’s so easy for me to think “ I deserve nice things”. That is true, however so is “I deserve and owe to myself to create a life I love”. The life I imagine also includes financial freedom. I can have everything I want but it will take time.
Don’t let people and society rush you - I’ve stopped counting the amount of times someone has commented… What am I going to fix next? What room are you decorating now? Do you plan on getting new flooring? What about new cabinets? I know they all mean well but it’s a lot. Moving from living in one bedroom to owning a three level house, it’s a lot. The easiest way to tackle it is by taking it day by day. Also, if you take nothing else from this blog post, I hope you take this… Don’t let people who don’t pay your mortgage or help fund home improvement projects have a say in your timeline. You know your budget and your goals, you are the best person to decide what’s best for your house.
Also, it’s a pandemic and Omarion is pop-locking and trying to take everyone out. Everything’s on back order for months so I’m just giving myself grace. I’m totally aware that I probably won’t ever have a housewarming party at the year mark but that’s okay. I think this is one of the experiences where you just gotta dance in the rain. If you a new homeowner, I hope that you take time to enjoy the process, the little wins. It’s a lot and more difficult than I expected but also such a blessing.
Best,
Ashley, Budget$ But Bougie